How A Broken Heart Can Blossom Into a Sustaining Open Heart

Many of us mark the timeline of our lives through tragedy and loss. As we review our lives, we tend to highlight the periods of our lives that involve disappointment, crises, or betrayals. During times of crisis, we are unable to continue “business as usual” in our minds. They force us to re-evaluate the model of the world that we took for granted and assumed to be true. Tragedies and even difficult romantic breakups require us to orient ourselves entirely differently to the world as we knew it. Unfortunately, we don’t flow with our new trajectories with ease and grace, which is why our hearts hurt so much.  

When our heart’s energy center is open, we feel love and joy, and we are much quicker to laugh and smile. The Institute of Heartmath would refer to this state as having greater heart coherence. Heart coherence is a physiological state in the body where we are poised to be both relaxed and alert in our nervous system. We smile for no good reason because we feel at home in our hearts and bodies. 

When we resist the changes required of us when facing hardship, we become less coherent. Our hearts shut down, and we start operating on what I refer to as “economy mode.” Deep down, we are saying to ourselves, “I know I am being required to grow and change, but I don’t want to. I want everything to stay the same.” or put another way, “Hell no! I won’t go!”

The emotional pain we experience with a broken heart is the fluctuation of opening and closing our hearts’ energy center. Our hearts want to open as they have in the past, but we don’t know how to open our hearts without the former pre-trauma situation stimulating it. Some people choose to shut down their heart center permanently at this point because this fluctuation is too painful. Unfortunately, it is common for this choice to be the beginning of decades of substance abuse. 

As Consciousness Athletes, we know we have a question to answer during crises, “Are we going to become bitter or better?” Are we going to keep our hearts shut down while ruminating on loss., or are we going to keep our hearts open as we mine our heart’s terrain for clues to our rebirth? Our training has taught us how good it feels to drink the sweet loving nectar of our open heart during average experiences. We come to understand that no situation is worth depriving ourselves of this nourishing sustenance. We learn to quickly recognize that when challenges emerge that break our hearts, instead of contracting our heart’s center, we can use the challenge as an opportunity to expand our heart center even larger than it was before our hearts were challenged. We learn that love is infinite, and it will heal us if we allow love to flow through our hearts instead of resisting it.

Keeping our hearts open during times of crisis takes practice, like lifting weights at the gym. Through resistance training, our muscles become more robust. Through resisting and the tendency of our hearts to close during crises, our hearts maintain strength and stability in love. We can feel the effervescent flowing of love’s nectar, and there is a quiet joy within us during emergencies. We recognize the opportunity for further expansion. We have come to understand that love is infinite. It never ends. Love does not rely on any situation or person. It is a well we can drink from any time, regardless of circumstances. Crises invite us to break down the walls we had around our hearts so that more love can flow through us unimpeded. We become addicted to love and draw strength from its sustenance.

As Consciousness Athletes, we find ourselves looking back at our lives with great gratitude and appreciation for all the situations that broke our hearts open. We discovered an amazing dimension of living this life here on earth through those tragedies, the nectar of open heart from which we draw great sustenance. An opportunity that is literally under our nose, and yet very few people seem to know about it.,

But we do because we have been training. Hopefully, the love flowing through our open hearts will inspire others to find this beauty within themselves as well.